Fun at Dinner Theater!
So, tonight MC and I went to our company's (somewhat belated due to scheduling issues) holiday party. The venue: Murder Mystery Dinner Theater! The plot centered around a few actors doing some actually quite funny (if unbelievably ham-fisted) portrayals of celebrities and/or the undead such as Dolly Parton, Britney Spears, Robert E. Lee, Jim Baker, A Medieval Monk, and (of course) a version of Count Dracula who uncannily resembled George Hamilton. Eventually there was murder, as the undead Monk ("Raspukin") stabbed himself mysteriously before even more mysteriously vanishing, and the bimbo country star ("Polly Darton") was cruelly slashed by a booby-trapped (pun intended, I'm sure) medieval plastic chalice. At the end of the night, they asked us to write down who we thought had, as they say, dunnit. Prizes were to be had!

This is what I wrote:

Murderer: A pack of ravening ninjas.

Motive: Ten thousand years ago, in Feudal Japan or something, the most feared and deadly school of ninjitsu was headed by the secretly not very Buddhist monk.. Raspukin! But then, upon realizing that all they had to eat in Japan was seaweed, he left the school to pursue a career in cannibalism. However, all was not wine, roses, and charred human flesh.. the ninjas were hungry for revenge! They hypnotized Raspukin into killing himself, and the chick with the big rack. Then, they devoured the bodies, thus removing the evidence!


I'd have polished it a bit more if I'd had more than five minutes to come up with something, but I think it turned out pretty well. They read a few of the responses, handing out prizes to those they deemed either most correct or the funniest. Mine was read last among the funny ones, and I was awarded a lovely rock because apparently mine was the answer most likely written by someone who was stoned. I really need more chances to unleash madness upon a room full of unsuspecting people - they were very obviously not expecting that. Additionally, my company won 4 of the 5 prizes they handed out, not too shabby considering we only had 3 or 4 tables out of maybe twelve.

In sum, fun was had by all!